General Posts

Beginning Again

I’ve debated writing this post for a while. But when your life and your job are integral, as mine are, its impossible to separate the two.

Four of us at Deelite Opening
At the Grand Opening Party for Deelite Design

When you are close to someone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness it turns your world upside down. You put everything else in your life on hold. Since I am so emotionally invested in my business, I’ve had a very hard time balancing my personal and business worlds, thus the hiatus that has occurred these last few months.

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Mom working with me at the 2011 BSO Decorator Show House

Two weeks ago my mother lost her battle with lung cancer. A lot of you have met my mom, either at a show home, a trade show, or perhaps on a job site or the studio. She was integral to my business and always helped me with whatever she could. She loved hanging out at the studio and meeting with friends and clients that would stop by. She was incredibly proud and supportive of me. It has been very surreal and hard to comprehend that she has passed. The thought of returning to work gives me anxiety because I don’t know if I am ready for the pressure I put on myself to perform at the level clients have come to expect.  I am thankful that I am able to make a living as an artist, but sometimes I wish I had a job working for someone else just so I didn’t have to deal with the stresses of owning my own business.

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Mom working on the office at the studio

This situation has put into perspective how precious time is and not to waste it with things that aren’t important. Up until now I have accepted almost any job, large or small. But now I believe that it is more important to seek out work that I truly love to do and brings me joy. Call me selfish. To put it metaphorically; instead of being carried by the current of the river and letting the water push me randomly along, I want to put my oars in and navigate my own journey.  To get back into some semblance of normalcy, I have started work on a new painting just for me. Its the first of a future series that has been brewing inside of me for quite some time. I thought that now would be an appropriate time to begin. (I’ll post pictures as the work progresses.)

Thanks to all of my clients, designers, peers…everyone who offered help (or a shoulder.) I couldn’t have gotten through the last 8 months without you.

 

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11 thoughts on “Beginning Again”

  1. Hi Dee. My sincerest condolences. As you probably know i lost my dad earlier this year. I haven’t been able to write about it yet, but he gave me some great advice about the work I do many years ago – he said “start off as you mean to continue” so I have been very picky about the commissions I take and how my time is spent and it’s been an absolute life saver. Life’s too short, too short to worry about money or anything else they try to sell you. Honor your mom by believing in yourself the way she believed in you.

    1. Thank you Lynne. I know your dad passed recently and up until now I had not a clue how raw it would feel. Thanks for the reassurance about being picky. It will be hard to say no but I know its the best choice for me. XO

  2. Dee you continue to be my thoughts and prayers daily. I have found that often times going through an extreme time of difficulty, trials, or loss, will alter the trajectory of ones life. I’ve had to face some of my worse fears head on, and you know what?…. I AM stronger, my faith is deeper, and my life’s path has reflected the new thoughts, priorities, values, and goals I have developed by going through these things. Editing is as important in life, as it is in art and design. Much love and support Dee, Barbara

  3. Dear Dee, I am so sorry to learn of your mother’s passing. Please accept my sincerest sympathies on what is surely one of life’s most difficult passages. May you find some comfort in the precious memories that will always be with you. Sincerely, Karen Winegardner

  4. I am so sorry. Your mom was a wonderful person and your greatest supporter. Her foundation of love and encouragement will continue to lead you to greater and greater success and happiness.

  5. Dee, I’m so sorry. I really liked your mom, she was always beaming with motherly love of being near you. She was really a nice person. I wish I had words to help you, I do know time makes it ….a little more manageable.
    Keep on doing what you do , and were made to do. You are excellent at it!
    I’m sure you were filled with encouragement from her, always. Just keep her words in your heart.
    Can’t wait to see your new paintings!
    I will be praying for your peace. And that God puts people in your path to fill up empty ones.
    Sincerely sad,
    Leigh grohe

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